Blame it on the dog – need heat

My dog and I have the best, most mutually beneficial relationship ever, I swear to you.

He and I have vibed hard off of each other since the day that we met, and I don’t see that changing any time soon.

We just have the same personalities and generally don’t have any squabbles between us, unless he rolls in poop. It might actually be the best relationship of my entire life. Another reason that I really love having him around is I can always blame things on him. If I’m feeling like I can’t stand another minute of my husband’s driving, I can say that the dog looks like he needs a break to go outside. If I want to stay at home instead of wasting money out on the town, I tell people that my dog isn’t feeling well and i need to be by his side. When I want to have a new furnace upgrade and know that my husband won’t spend the money on a brand new heating system, I tell him that the dog is shivering cold all the time and needs more warmth. About a month ago I began commenting on his poor cold little body and pointed out all the times that our dog looked chilly or coughed from poor air quality. I started littering the house with HVAC discount coupons and articles about the new energy efficient heaters on the market. I begged my husband to think of our ancient pet and his desire to be comfortable in his final years. Wouldn’t you know, we got a brand new furnace last week, along with a full air duct cleaning and thermostat replacement, to boot.

hvac technician

I’ll wait for a warmer day – inventory

I’m not accustomed to this chill, and I don’t want to leave this warm office to freeze my butt off in the warehouse

I’m pretty lucky to have a mostly independent position for work. I really do not like to work with other humans because that means I have to depend on them for various stressful aspects of my job. I really hate making small talk, and I also really deplore having to work around someone else’s schedule. Probably the best part about working as autonomously as I do is getting to set my own schedule and really maximize my life. That’s why I’m so grateful that I can just scoot this little inventory count a few days later in the week to avoid the brutal cold of today. You see, we live in a pretty warm and muggy area. During the summer, our city is known for being hot and humid. During the winter, the outdoor air temperature is usually pretty mild and comfortable, which is great for me because I hate being cold. I adore the fact that I was wearing a sweatshirt outside on Christmas this past year, instead of bundling up inside and refusing to leave the central heat. However, we still get just a few cold days here and there. Today is one of them – out of nowhere the outdoor air quality dropped down to a cold and dry 30 degrees, and a mighty wind kicked up too. I’m not accustomed to this chill, and I don’t want to leave this warm office to freeze my butt off in the warehouse. Thanks to this independent job, I can sit at my warm desk and wait for the air temperature to match my preferences before I have to torture myself because so-and-so said so.

 

electric fireplace

Heat corrupted hair dye

I am one of those people who will shop online for anything and everything on earth.

I absolutely abhor going out and running errands, jumping from store to store in search of something that is usually out of stock.

I waste so much time and energy dealing with parking and waiting in lines, not to mention the social anxiety that I face with almost any visit into public spaces. That’s why I’m an online shopping fiend, with immense love for buying in bulk and forgetting about buying that item ever again. Well, this usually works out for me, but it really backfired the other week when I purchased 6 months of hair dye at once. I found a great sale and feared that my favorite color was going out of production, so I bought a backstock for my closet. The only problem was, I forgot about the air vent which points straight into the closet. More specifically, I forgot that the outdoor air temperature was about to plummet, and the central heat would need to be employed for the first time all year. Of course, it was a particularly cold day when I went off to work and forgot to power down the heat. When I returned to my house, I realized that there was a strange smell in the air, but couldn’t find the source. A week later I found it when I walked into my closet and found a bloodbath. The powerful heating system had pumped so much hot air into my closet as the furnace cycled on and off that the hair dye bottles began to react and expand. Thanks to the heat they exploded everywhere and totally ruined my closet of clothing.

 

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“DIY” heated floors from husband

I don’t know why I married this man, I honestly don’t.

Sure, we get along well enough and he treats me pretty well most days, but he also endlessly drives me up the wall as a personal hobby.

It was just last week that he thought it would be funny to hide fake spiders around the house and warn me that global warming was really messing with our animal evolution. Then two days ago he was turning off the hot water while I was in the shower after I told him that I could be a cold ass bitch. Now, today he’s endlessly mocking me with all of these fake anniversary gifts. He pretends to have a big surprise worked out for me, and then crushes me with the truth. The most upsetting one was when he told me that he knew I had been cold all winter long. He said he understood that I had terrible circulation and felt chilled to the bone even when the furnace was running. He agreed that a forced air central heating system was inefficient, and that I would enjoy more direct and consistent heat in the morning, right when my toes touched the floors. With that statement I screeched in excitement, honestly thinking that he had purchased and installed radiant heated floors for us. For years I had been begging for heated floors, just in our bedroom to warm up the floors, at least. As I swooned, thinking my heating dreams had come true, he pulled a heating pad out from behind his back and threw it on the floor. Voila! DIY radiant heated floors, he yelled.
Quality air conditioning

So much for the big party

Every time I try to organize something big, I feel like the universe is determined to make sure I can’t accomplish my goals.

  • Maybe I will get close to pulling off the big feat; but somehow things will take a disappointing turn shortly into my venture.

It could be a big reveal party at work, and the entire project will get cancelled hours before the soiree begins. Or maybe I try to surprise my husband, and get incredibly close to pulling off the whole shebang, but then he winds up deathly ill with a stomach flu when the guests are supposed to be arriving. Or, perhaps I just try to throw my step son a little birthday party, and the entire HVAC system blows up in my face while the caterers are setting up. Yeah, that’s what happened most recently. I had everything planned so perfectly, and the house was incredibly clean and fresh feeling. The AC system was chugging away as always, pumping tons of cool air through our many air vents. I was feeling prepared for the big event and made sure to bump the AC down a few extra notches as the caterers were letting all the hot summer air inside. I definitely didn’t want the indoor air temperature to get out of hand and find myself unable to keep up with the cool air demands after that! What a joke. At some point I heard a terrible sound coming from the AC unit outside and went out to poke around at the cooling device. About two seconds later, the whole AC unit burst into flames, shooting black soot out everywhere. Needless to say, the party didn’t go so smoothly after the emergency HVAC technician was called and I was in the emergency room for first degree burns,

 

 

Indoor comfort business

Turn off fan to smoke when mom’s in town

I hate to admit that I still keep sneaky secrets from my mom at this stage in my life – but I do.

She knows that I’m no angel; she’s seen me and my friends really cut loose a number of times in our adult lives, but she really has no clue what else I’m up to.

I’ll cut to the chase and tell you, I’m kindof a big stoner. I can’t help it, I’ve been hooked on the stuff since I realized that it was a more effective sleep aid at the age of 20. After a decade of smoking every day to ease myself to sleep, I’m pretty used to the stuff. That’s why I have to be super sneaky whenever my mom comes into town and I need to calm down for bed. Luckily, I have figured out the perfect combination of masking techniques. I’ll tell you, step number one is turning off the entire HVAC system. If your thermostat is on some preset auto-controls for your indoor air quality, there’s a good chance that the heating or cooling system will give you away. I learned this the hard way, when I once snuck away to smoke out a window, only for the air to start roaring through all the overhead air vents in the bathroom. The sudden airflow began sucking my smoke back into the house and circulating it with the indoor air! That day I realized that the thermostat could not be trusted – it had to be shut down entirely so that a sudden rush of AC through the nearest vent and back into the air return didn’t give me away. The anti-HVAC system works like a charm; if you remember step number one, you’re already almost in the clear.

 

Business

“DIY” radiant floors from hubby

I don’t know why I married this man, I truthfully don’t.

Sure, my friend and I get along well enough and he treats me pretty well most days, but he also endlessly drives me up the wall as a personal activity.

It was just last weekthat he thought it would be funny to hide fake spiders around the home and warn me that global warming was absolutely messing with our critter evolution. Then two days ago he was turning off the moderate water during the shower after I told him that I could be a chilly ass bitch. Now, this week he’s endlessly mocking me with all of these fake birthday gifts! He pretends to have a important surprise worked out for me, and then crushes me with the truth. The most startling one was when he told me that he knew I had been chilly all winter season long. He said he understood that I had terrible circulation and felt chilled to the bone even when the furnace was running. He agreed that a forced air central boiler was inefficient, and that I would appreciate more direct and consistent heat in the afternoon, right when my toes touched the floors! With that statement I screeched in excitement, truthfully thinking that he had purchased and installed radiant radiant floors for us, but for years I had been begging for radiant floors, just in our living room to moderate up the floors, at least. As I swooned, thinking my heating dreams had come true, he pulled a heating pad out from behind his back and threw it on the floor; Voila! DIY radiant radiant floors, he yelled.

 

heating and air conditioning

So much for the large gathering

Every time I try to organize something big, I feel like the universe is determined to make sure I can’t accomplish my goals, maybe I will get close to pulling off the large feat; but somehow things will take a poor turn shortly into my venture.

It could be a large reveal gathering at work, & the entire project will get cancelled hours before the soiree begins… Or maybe I try to surprise my fiance, & get incredibly close to pulling off the whole shebang, but then he winds up deathly ill with a stomach flu when the guests are supposed to be arriving.

Or, perhaps I just try to throw my step kid a little birthday gathering, & the entire Heating, Ventilation, & A/C system blows up in my face while the caterers are setting up, however yeah, that’s what happened most recently. I had everything planned so perfectly, & the house was incredibly wash & fresh feeling. The A/C system was chugging away as consistently, pumping tons of cool air through our many air vents. I was feeling prepared for the large event & made sure to bump the A/C down a few extra notches as the caterers were letting all the sizzling Summer air inside. I certainly didn’t want the indoor air temperature to get out of hand & find myself unable to keep up with the cool air demands after that! What a joke. At some point I heard a disappointing sound coming from the A/C component outside & went out to poke around at the cooling device. About two seconds later, the whole A/C component burst into flames, shooting black soot out everywhere… Needless to say, the gathering didn’t go so smoothly after the emergency Heating, Ventilation, & A/C professional was called & I was in the emergency room for first degree burns,

oil heater

So much for the large gathering

I definitely didn’t want the indoor air temperature to get out of hand plus find myself unable to keep up with the cool air demands after that! What a joke

Every time I try to organize something big, I feel like the universe is determined to make sure I can’t accomplish my goals, and maybe I will get close to pulling off the large feat; but somehow things will take a disappointing turn shortly into my venture. It could be a large reveal gathering at work, plus the entire project will get cancelled hours before the soiree begins. Or maybe I try to surprise my partner, plus get incredibly close to pulling off the whole shebang, but then she winds up deathly ill with a stomach flu when the guests are supposed to be arriving. Or, perhaps I just try to throw my step child a little birthday gathering, plus the entire Heating, Ventilation, plus A/C system blows up in my face while the caterers are setting up, and yeah, that’s what happened most recently. I had everything planned so perfectly, plus the apartment was incredibly scrub plus fresh feeling. The AC system was chugging away as always, pumping tons of cool air through our several air vents. I was feeling prepared for the large event plus made sure to bump the AC down a few extra notches as the caterers were letting all the hot Summer air inside. I definitely didn’t want the indoor air temperature to get out of hand plus find myself unable to keep up with the cool air demands after that! What a joke. At some point I heard a terrible sound coming from the AC unit outside plus went out to poke around at the cooling device. About two seconds later, the whole AC unit burst into sparks, shooting black soot out everywhere! Needless to say, the gathering didn’t go so smoothly after the emergency Heating, Ventilation, plus A/C serviceman was called plus I was in the emergency room for first degree burns,

 

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So much for the pressing celebration

The A/C system was chugging away as constantly, pumping tons of cool air through our several air vents.

Every time I try to organize something big, I feel like the universe is determined to make sure I can’t accomplish my goals, however maybe I will get close to pulling off the pressing feat; however somehow things will take a exhausting turn shortly into my venture. It could be a pressing reveal celebration at work, as well as the entire project will get cancelled hours before the soiree begins, then or maybe I try to surprise my husband, as well as get incredibly close to pulling off the whole shebang, however then he winds up deathly ill with a stomach flu when the guests are supposed to be arriving. Or, perhaps I just try to throw my step son a little birthday celebration, as well as the entire Heating & A/C system blows up in my face while the caterers are setting up, but yeah, that’s what happened most recently. I had everything planned so perfectly, as well as the household was incredibly clean as well as fresh feeling. The A/C system was chugging away as constantly, pumping tons of cool air through our several air vents. I was feeling prepared for the pressing event as well as made sure to bump the A/C down a few extra notches as the caterers were letting all the warm Summer air inside. I honestly didn’t want the indoor air temperature to get out of hand as well as find myself unable to keep up with the cool air demands after that! What a joke. At some point I heard a exhausting sound coming from the A/C unit outside as well as went out to poke around at the cooling device. About two seconds later, the whole A/C unit burst into flames, shooting black soot out everywhere… Needless to say, the celebration didn’t go so smoothly after the emergency Heating & A/C supplier was called as well as I was in the emergency room for first degree burns,

 

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