I don’t know why I married this man, I honestly don’t.
Sure, we get along well enough and he treats me pretty well most days, but he also endlessly drives me up the wall as a personal hobby.
It was just last week that he thought it would be funny to hide fake spiders around the house and warn me that global warming was really messing with our animal evolution. Then two days ago he was turning off the hot water while I was in the shower after I told him that I could be a cold ass bitch. Now, today he’s endlessly mocking me with all of these fake anniversary gifts. He pretends to have a big surprise worked out for me, and then crushes me with the truth. The most upsetting one was when he told me that he knew I had been cold all winter long. He said he understood that I had terrible circulation and felt chilled to the bone even when the furnace was running. He agreed that a forced air central heating system was inefficient, and that I would enjoy more direct and consistent heat in the morning, right when my toes touched the floors. With that statement I screeched in excitement, honestly thinking that he had purchased and installed radiant heated floors for us. For years I had been begging for heated floors, just in our bedroom to warm up the floors, at least. As I swooned, thinking my heating dreams had come true, he pulled a heating pad out from behind his back and threw it on the floor. Voila! DIY radiant heated floors, he yelled.
Quality air conditioning